Dies Natales, Pater.

Today is my dad's birthday.
Which means I will be baking deliciousness all day, because that man likes his baked goods.
Undoubtedly, I will be expected to eat some of these goods.
Hopefully this will showcase my strength, and not my weakness.
Wish me luck.
Stay strong!!
xx Sofia xx

What do I need?

Oh yeah.
A scale.

Fuck.

Also, thank you for your welcome back comments.

They really do mean the world to me.

I love the acceptance of this community.

I missed it. 

xx Stay strong xx

Fuck this shit.

It has been forever.
Like, wow.

Way too long.

Some things are different, most things are the same.
I have a very skinny boyfriend now. It's a problem.
He's sweet and perfect.... and weighs about 30 pounds.
I wish I was able to just love myself, to tell myself that I am beautiful and believe it.
I tried to, for a few months. That's why I haven't been blogging or anything.
It didn't work out too well. I'm just not cut out for self-love.
Ana is the only thing that makes sense.

So, I'm back. Hello everybody.
Stay strong.
Thank you for continuing to follow me, in my absence.
I guess you guys know me better than I do.

I need structure

Everyone loves having time off from school, right?
Wrong.
When I'm not at school, stuck home all day, I eat. And eat. And eat some more.
Today I've already had leftover green bean casserole and a slice of pumpkin pie (threw them both up, of course, but still. Calories are calories. They've already slipped into my body).
When i'm at school, it's so much easier to skip breakfast, skip lunch, skip everything until dinner. Because I have structure. 2 hours of classes, break, 2 hours of classes, lunch, 2 hours of classes, home. I can map out my day.
I hate not being at school!!!

Put that down.

If you eat that, you will hate yourself. You will hate yourself for hours and hours and hours. Of course, you already hate yourself. But if you eat that, the hatred will be taken to a whole different level. Don't you want to be loved? Admired? Envied? Don't you want any one person to look at you think, 'I want to be that'? Prove that you are strong. Put that food down. It is disgusting. It is filthy. It is covered in slick mold that will pus and slime down your throat and into your stomach, where it will slowly rot you away from the inside out. Right now your insides are pure and pink and new. Do not ruin them with this grey sludge. Do not do this to yourself. Don't you want to be happy with yourself? To be able to look in a mirror and smile? That will never happen if you put that in your mouth, chew, swallow. So get rid of it now, before I lose my temper.

Sorry for the lack of thinspo...

I'm not on my own computer with all my secret files. Poop.
THANKSGIVING IS CREEPING UP.
Shitfuckgoddamnassholemotherfucker.

Anyone else dreading it already?
I can already tell that dinner tomorrow will just be a huge test by my parents.
Is Sofia going to eat? How much will she eat? Will she eat any potatoes? What about gravy? Pie?
It's going to be horrible. And so, because of this, I am eating under 500 calories today, and nothing tomorrow until dinner. And from there, under 500 calories Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
Cross your fingers this works!
xx Sofia 

New Plan

Nothing for breakfast.
Diet soda for lunch.
Dinner with the family.
Eat as little as I can get away with.
<3