A Beginning

I wish I were thin.
I wish I were confident, happy, bubbly, bright.
I wish I weren't afraid of the mirror.
Or the scale.
I wish I weren't afraid of myself.

I am 15 years old. I am quiet and shy and afflicted with something.
No, not afflicted. I am gifted. I am gifted with ana.

Sometimes I don't have the will to keep fighting, or the will to quit eating.
But ana will always be there to dust me off, and return me to the world, empty and pure and pink. Light as a snowflake, pure, pure, pure.
When I am through here, I will walk as a shadow, tiptoeing through the light, as airy and free as any passing shade.

This blog is a way to reach out, instead of always reaching in. It's a way to trudge along, until I can dance.