This past three days... I've been... horrible.
I've been a pig, to put it plainly.
Eating and eating and eating. Not counting calories. Not even attempting to restrict.
Well, all of this resulted in an extremely gnarley panic attack last night.
I felt like...
Like... My world was falling apart. Like I had lost all control. I vowed to regain my control.
And this morning I woke up feeling somehow rejuvenated.
Today's Intake...
B: 130
L: 0
D: 300
Total: 430
And it still feels like too much. It always feels like too much. Is that just me?
I wore shorts to school today. I was so distracted in all my classes, obsessing over how disgusting my legs are. I couldn't focus. I couldn't concentrate on anything but my own repulsiveness. How do other people stand looking at me? I am a tub of lard.
I won't be wearing shorts for a while.
I know how you feel about that. For some reason, when I break fasts or restriction, I'll have exactly three days of binge eating (ish). I wonder why that is? But you're regaining the control back, and that's all that matters. A new day, a new chance to be thinner.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
-Molly
Aghh, thank you. I'm so so happy that someone can relate to me... heh.
ReplyDelete"A new day, a new chance to be thinner."
I like that.