About Me

So... I have three followers now. (SO STOKED). And I thought it was time I gave a little more information about myself... My name's Sofia, I'm 15 years old, and I live in the United States. I've always had issues with eating. In the seventh grade, I was intensely bullimic. I'm talking, purging after every single thing I ate. This continued, to a lesser degree, to the present, although now I am focusing more on ana. Why ana? Well, this past summer, I was drunk, and I was raped. It was the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me in my life. Thankfully I was so drunk that I can barely remember it, although my therapist says that also might be a repression of memory. All I know is, that after that night, I was obsessed with control. I don't know if it's because I was out of control, or what, but that's where I mark the beginning of the end.
Sometimes I scare myself. I want to get so skinny that I'm sick. So sick that I have to be hospitalized, stuck in a psych ward. I guess I just want people to know that something's wrong. That I'm not alright, after all. That the smiling face they all see is a lie.
I've been diagnosed with depression and chronic anxiety, but my parents are completely against me taking meds for these conditions. And since I'm a minor, that decision is left up to my parents. They think that depression and anxiety aren't real medical conditions. They think I should just figure it out for myself.
Sometimes, I feel so worthless that I can't get out of bed. Sometimes I feel so scared that I won't leave my room. But sometimes I feel happy, euphoric. I feel like dancing sometimes, and running, skipping.
What I'm trying to say is, I'm not always such a mope. It just gets to me sometimes.

Oh, and are you ready for some reverse thinspo? This is me, as of this morning:

Don't make fun of my bow legs!

I love, love, love all of you girls. And I love, love, love reading all of your blogs. Stay strong, everyone. We can do this together <3

xx Sofia